I wonder if you may be one of those people who feel that they can’t settle for less than perfection, and perhaps even that you may as well not even try if you can’t do something perfectly. When we have a goal of perfection, we will automatically feel inadequate, because we can’t reach such a goal. Perfectionism often leads to procrastination, because it takes to allow ourselves to be vulnerable to be imperfect to the others’ eyes and so to some perfectionists is better to postpone and procrastinate than to deliver a project that is not perfect. Sometimes, it is just a matter of rephrasing, changing semantic can change a non-perfect unsatisfactory performance suddenly into an excellent, satisfactory achievement, because the truth is the number of mistakes is not what defines the quality of a human being.
The other side of the coin is criticism. When you set a high standard for yourself such as “perfect” you have a defined idea of what is “ right” and “ wrong.”
The only thing young children can do to survive is attaching emotionally to people who will take care of them. Feeling unworthy of attachment, as criticized young children are apt to feel, can seem like life or death. So they try to control the great pain of criticism by turning it into self-criticism—because self-inflicted pain is better than unpredictable rejection by loved ones. By early adolescence, such children begin to “identify with the aggressor”—emulating the more powerful criticizer. By late adolescence, their self-criticism expands to criticism of others. By young adulthood, it appears to have shifted entirely to criticism of others. However, most critical people remain primarily self-critical.
People affected by criticism and perfectionism share a perspective: both are looking at what is “wrong or what was missing” rather than what is “ right or what was accomplished.”
When treating these aspects of the personality, we are dealing with lack of self-esteem. Hypnotherapy and Psych-K can help to swift beliefs, and you can learn how to turn down that self-critical voice inside your head that constantly tells that is not good enough.